Secrets of Ichiro- Revealed!

Thanks to bilingual journalist Bred Lefton, and a popular Japanese TV show called “Secrets of the Ultimate Professional” us mere mortals finally get an understanding of what makes Ichiro tick.

To begin with, most importantly, according to Dr. Kenichiro Mogi, the host of the program, Ichiro has a “very fine prefontal cotex.” Supposedly, this assists Ichiro in discovering the sensations that allow him to become such an expert hitter, such as the angle of the bat or the placement of his feet.

Other Ichiro secrets revealed is his pre-night game lunch ritual, which involves eating his wife’s homemade Japanese curry before each home night game, and eating cheese pizza- light on sauce, with fluffy crust- before each game on the road. Ichiro’s routine is very similar to batting champ from yesteryear Wade Bogg’s noted penchant for eating a bucket of fried chicken before each game. What is it with batting champions and their rigid eating routine? If anything, it creates a degree of comfortability, one that translates with Ichiro flicking with ease a soft liner over the shortstop’s head into left field. The eating routines make much more sense than Ted Williams infamously hoodwinking a Boston reporter that he “didn’t read” as to avoid eye-strain.

But perhaps the information that is the most eye-opening and appetite-whetting for Mariners fans are Ichiro’s revelations that his accomplishments playing major league baseball have disappointed him, as his accomplishments have been achieved from what he perceives as a diminished state. Ichiro also stated that he’s closer to feeling 100 percent than ever before, a statement that I’m sure causes every major league pitcher to collectively gasp in disbelief. It’s hard enough to get Ichiro out when he’s not feeling at the top of his game, what results can be expected from a self-declared “near 100 percent” Ichiro? Will he surpass his own record of 262 hits? Is 270 hits even a possibility?  Can it be that Ichiro will post the first .400 batting average baseball’s seen in four decades?

Ichiro’s poor spring might temper any high expectations, but let’s repeat in unison everybody: “It’s just spring.”  And it’s better that Ichiro gets those kinks out of his system sooner rather than later.